This Study on Praise Will Blow Your Mind

We all think our kids are extraordinary, but the language we use to praise them can affect their performance, confidence, and identity. Check out this shocking study by Dr. Dweck on how simple phrases limited children’s effort! The key is to give thoughtful, effective praise to kids of all ages!

EXAMPLES

Be specific – avoid generalized praise (“Good job!”)

“You played very well by yourself while I cooked dinner.”

Describe the process or effort

“You were so gentle handing your toy to Riley."

“You stayed focus while completing your homework. I can tell you are trying very hard.”

Thank them

“Thank you for being patient while I made dinner. I know that must have been hard for you.”

Encourage them

“That’s it! Way to go! You can do it.”

Ask a question/clarifying statement

"Tell me about your picture."

"How do you feel?"

Offer a nonverbal acknowledgement, like a smile, nod, or pat on the back.

Tell another adult so your child can overhear

For example, when Dad gets home from work “Molly played so nicely with her friend Megan today and…”

Verbalize what you observe, known as "sportscasting"

“You kept your cup on the table just like I asked. Thank you for not throwing it.”

"You came as soon as I called."

"You are working hard to climb those stairs."

Tell your child how their positive behavior makes you feel

"I really enjoyed coloring together at your table."

"I am so proud of you for waiting patiently until I got off the phone."

Tell your child how their positive behavior makes others feel

“Riley was really happy when you shared your toy with him.”

 It took a lot of practice to use this language with my students, but I truly noticed a difference in their behavior! There is power in the language we use.